It’s hard to believe it’s ONLY been two months. Had this been a place where I had no way to know what day it was or I forgot to put the marks on the wall, I would swear it was six. Just when I was saying to myself earlier today that its been a while since anybody has burned a pile of rubbish, sure enough someone JUST started doing it.
I want to say that I’m no religious fanatic. And I sort of hate to use this statement because it sounds like I am…however, I sure feel like I’ve been tested. It’s probably just living in a different country and the things that go along with it. I just think about that night in my room where I’m finally happy that I got a net over the bed and I’m feeling pretty content. I look up to see two gigantic roaches on my door. The insect that I’m most afraid of (besides black crickets). It’s as if someone is saying, “You can’t have it all! You can’t be completely happy, so take THIS and let’s see what you do! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”
Then there are the nights, which only started happening recently, where the rain is TORRENTIAL. Scary, loud, threatening and there’s not a damn thing I can do but wish it away. I’m just grateful that this tin roof doesn’t leak. At least not on me or on my electronics. Then once the rain finally subsides and the sun comes out, the mosquitoes are completely unforgiving.
I’m tired of cooking. I’m tired of shopping for things I don’t even like and I’m tired of being hungry. I almost liked it more when I WASN’T hungry…at least I didn’t HAVE to cook or go to the store. But now my appetite has returned which poses another problem. Eating. I feel completely limited and uninspired so it turns into frustration and feeling malnourished.
I’m SOOOOO tired of being hot. It’s 6:30 p.m., the sun is down and there is no breeze. I’m in a long sleeve shirt to keep the mosquitoes away and it feels like it’s 95 degrees. I’m tired of this house I’m in and can’t WAIT to get to the hotel I booked last night in San Jose. It looks like complete bliss at $78/night.
Ok, so is it coming through that I’m a bit frustrated? I have decided to move to Lake Arenal in July though. The house will be better, but who knows what the circumstances hold. The food selection and prices will be about the same but at least I’ll have an oven and a REAL stove AND a microwave!! It won’t be a tin roof…well, if it is, at least the walls go up to a CEILING. The temperatures will be mild and even cool at night. So maybe I started off right with this suffering of mine. It gives me a lot to be thankful for in the future. I will be contending with earthquakes and one of the most active volcanoes in the world 20 miles away. I will be in a pretty remote area but will have a view of the lake and a dormant volcano. I’ll still have toucans and howlers to wake me up in the morning from what I understand. I just hope there aren’t as many dogs barking there.
I finally got tested by having a stray come into my life…which was COMPLETELY my fault. She didn’t come back today, by the way. She followed me to work and that was the last I saw of her (for now). But it just emphasizes the problem of strays in this country and probably EVERY country. There is no ‘pound’ or ASPCA here; nobody to call to come get the dog. It’s hard knowing that they really are good animals and just want a friend. I completely understand it. I felt really good when she was walking beside me…like she WAS my friend. I felt like she’d have my back if anything tried to attack me. So it was hard yelling at her to go away and having to pick up a stick and watch her cringe in fear, as if she knew exactly what that meant. I hate not being able to help her and I know I won’t forget yesterday anytime soon. I could feel her fear when we’d walk past yards with other dogs and they’d come rushing at the fence barking furiously…knowing that if that fence hadn’t been there, it would’ve been ON and death or serious injury would have ensued. She wouldn’t bark back, but get closer to me as if I would save HER…and I probably would have tried my best. It makes me sad.
I suppose I haven’t been completely tested. Knock on wood, I haven’t been robbed, mugged, hit by a car or otherwise injured. It seems that each week at my job I hear of someone who had to go to the hospital for one thing or another. Just today I heard about a guy that just started who fell off a bridge on his bike and was seriously injured. Nobody knows what really happened…whether he was knocked down by a car or if he was drunk and fell. People end up falling off their bikes on these rocky roads and get hurt. Some people get hit by cars at night because they drive like MANIACS here and some dumb people don’t even have lights or reflectors on their bikes or themselves.
So yeah, it could be worse…glad it hasn’t been. But I’ll tell ya, it hasn’t been easy. I’ve met some really nice people here. I’ve had strangers approach me while I was alone on a deserted beach and it was all cool. I’m not saying that it would always be like that, but luckily it turned out ok. I like to attribute that to my personality although I don’t actually think these people had bad intentions. Do I feel like making a permanent run back to the States yet? Nope. The last thing I want to do is go back to work in an office. I’m sticking it out down here. Maybe the second quarter will be better.